Right now I feel torn. I feel spread too thin, exhausted, and apathetic. It’s not about work. It’s not about friends or family. It’s about………wait for it.………blogging. And I’m being serious!
I’ve been experiencing writer’s block lately. And it’s SO frustrating because I don’t have time to have writer’s block! This nasty little problem has been sneaking up on me ever since I started this second blog, Life at Thirtysomething (LAT). I was so blissfully happy blogging away on Pop Culture Junkie (PCJ) – my first REAL hobby since childhood – that having a second blog on “life” sounded two times as wonderful! I thought; instead of living vicariously through other people’s lives (solely), I could start living MINE to the fullest – and blog about it. Excellent idea, right? Well…in actuality, having two blogs is starting to feel more like work than a hobby. And I’m feeling torn over which blog to spend more time on – my first child, or my brand new baby. Mama feels torn!
Try not to snicker too much out there real moms, but this is as far as my experience with motherhood has taken me. It’s what I imagine it must be like when you have one kid and you add to your brood. You instinctively want to spend as much time as possible with your new baby; helping her to grow and learn new things – all while showing her off to the world. But you can’t forget about your first baby! After all, if you ignore her – you’ll stunt her growth! Though she may crawl, she needs to learn how to walk on her own, and in order to do that – she needs your help. I’ve left PCJ to crawl too long while I show off LAT. And now, PCJ is regressing. And I feel guilty about it.
Why did I do this to myself?
Somewhere along the line I started feeling like my own internal musings on life would make a good blog. I mean, I crack my ass up all the time in my head – so why not share with others? I also saw this blog as a great way to be held accountable for the things I say I’m going to do. Because how stupes would I look if I say I’m going to do something, people read about it, and then I puss out?
So far, I’ve really enjoyed blogging on Life at Thirtysomething. I’ve had a nice response from it and I feel like there will be more and more things to blog about as I continue to take on new adventures and eventually have a real kid. I mean, can you imagine those preggo blogs? Like; “Help! I have stretch marks, hemorrhoids, AND I’m losing my hair!!” Or, “If my husband takes another drink of that goddamn beer while I drink milk I’m gonna SCREAM!” Those will be fun!
But for now, I’m just getting worn out with two blogs, a full-time job, a husband, dog, and a house to maintain! Something’s gotta give! I’m still trying to figure out what that is. Maybe Jeff can go live……JUST KIDDING! I don’t know. I may combine the two blogs someday. We’ll see. That would be a lot of work. And there we are again – WORK! Ugh!
What happened to my happy, fulfilling, make me feel young hobby? Help! I need advice! Being the mama that does it all is hard work. There’s that word again! AHHHHH!