Right now, I could very well be a multi-millionaire. I hold in my hand the digits that stand between me and my future very wealthy self. Earlier today, Jeff dropped a ten spot at the local gas station and, hopefully, this casual move has secured our future for life. And I probably shouldn’t say this; but I’m feelin’ pretty lucky! Now I don’t mean to jump the gun, but I thought I’d share with you how we plan to spend our newly acquired loot…

Well, I should clarify: In between the time that Jeff bought the ticket and the time that I got home from work, he had already made a detailed plan for distributing the $164 million (after taxes).  And of course, it’s all very responsible <yawn>.

Let’s just marvel at Jeff’s maturity and sensibility, shall we?

*Assuming there’s no gift tax.*

  • Both sets of our parents will take home $2 million. Good thing both sides are still married.
  • Both of our brothers will enjoy $500K each. Personally, I’d give them more (kinda stingy if you ask me), but this is really Jeff’s list.
  • 10% to charity ($8 million to Wabash College, Jeff’s alma mater, and the other $8 million to a charity to-be-determined). Note: my alma mater, Indiana University, got zilch.
  • $40 million will be placed in a new endowment under our names, Courtney and Jeff’s Foundation, and the cause is once again, TBD. (Obvy, we’ll need to find a pet cause, that’s for sure).
  • $100 million will go into a trust fund for our family of future mini moguls, which we will surely raise to be non-snobby trust fund babes.
  • And the final $3 million – my closet upgrade (Hey, he hadn’t placed the final $3 mil).

Ok, now that we got that outa the way…

How I will spend my millions…

I don’t know about you, but I’ve killed off many 5ks on the treadmill just listing, in my mind, what I’d do with the millions I’ll win in the lottery. It’s amazing how fast time can fly by when you’re counting your million dollah bills. Of course, being the small-minded girl that I am, I immediately think of the mansions I’m going to purchase in Malibu and Indianapolis, the exotic convertibles I’m going to roll around in, and the impossibly impractical crocodile leather handbags that I will rock, with labels such as Hermès and Balenciaga. I will drop every last bit of clothing that I own off at the local consignment shop. No, I won’t have time to collect a $50 bill from them in exchange; I’ll just head straight to the Salvation Army and never look back.

Babe, am I meeting you in Paris or Milan?

I will take three full months and travel to places such as Europe, Australia, New York, and maaaaaybe Asia. Oh I should mention that I will quit my job on the spot. Not because it’s a bad job, because I actually do like my job. But why blow eight hours a day making “X” dollars an hour when you’re already worth more than an entire career’s worth of days at that job? It makes no sense. No, I will spend all my time doing the “pie in the sky” things I would LOVE to do in my career, such as becoming a famous blogger, a bestselling author, and illustrate a series of children’s books.

Funny enough, as I rattled off these career ideas to Jeff he said; “well you need capital to do these things you know.”  Uhhhhh, ya, let me pick up the phone and call myself and ask for a frickin’ loan! Oh what’s that? I’m approved? CHA CHING! Now, what color Balenciaga bag should I get? Orange? And…what should I name my book…“Lifestyles of the newly rich and wannabe famous”?

If you win the lottery instead of me, how would you spend your millions?

5 Comments on How to spend $244 million bucks

  1. Don’t forget your poor Aunt Cindy! Forget the designer bags–I just want to have enough money to sit at home and write all day! (and a tropical vaca would be nice too!)

  2. No worries Aunt Cindy, I would give all my relatives like, a million bucks, if I had that much! Why don’t you try your writing hand on this blog! You could be a guest blogger! You write funny well – try it!

    I would love to sit at home and write all day. That’s my goal someday!!

  3. Yeah, I would be pissed if I were your brothers!! I’m talking at least 1mil. And Courtney, you better give 2 weeks notice, you don’t want to burn any bridges. You should also take your girls on an all expense paid trip to wherever they wanna go, for 1 week!

  4. Two weeks notice – psh! Ya, I’ll take ya wherever ya wanna go! What do I care? I’m rich!

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