Every time I go to the gym I see something that I don’t understand. Like, why is that guy working out on his lunch hour in his khakis and flannel shirt? Why not dawn some shorts and a tee, man? Or why the largest of women blow dry their hair buck naked in the mirror? What happened to your towel, woman?! So many times I see things like this and it makes me scratch my head. I know I should be more focused on my fitness when I’m all up in the gym, but I can’t help but ogle at some of the oddities I see on a regular basis. And I just had to share some of them with you…

In January, Jeff and I took the plunge and joined a megawatt gym. I’m talking the kind of gym that serves pina coladas at their Olympic sized swimming pool on the weekends, has 100+ classes, and like 900 treadmills – with TVs. It ‘aint cheap, that’s for sure. But you pay for the experience. And as far as I’m concerned, it’s worth the money.

Before this, I had been working out at my office gym that is tiny and smelly. I mean, I’m not complaining; I feel fortunate to have an option to go to the gym on my lunch hour if I want. But it’s utterly uninspiring to me when I’m there. Think: no TVs, no stereo playing over the loud speakers, and people working out in their work attire. Puke. No, I much prefer my big pretentious gym that has lots of good looking people waltzing around in sports bras and yoga pants and really muscley men that strut around with a towel on their head because they’re so hardcore sweaty, like a boxer or something.

Help me understand…

But whether I’m at my hole in the wall gym at work or my snobby gym on a hill, I see weirdness all around me. I used to always see this one woman on my lunch break who was usually there for a good hour (plus). She’d be sweaty from doing 30 minutes on the elliptical and then she’d lift weights for a while. Being the germaphobe that I assumed she was, she always had a paper towel in between her hand and the machines or free weights she was griping. But this is what killed me; she’d come into the locker room and strip down out of her soaked clothes and lace herself right up into her corset, step into her floral dress and trot back to work. Did you notice she skipped a shower? Ya! She wouldn’t touch a freaking thing in that gym but she’d pour her sweaty ass into a corset and work clothes, never minding to apply deodorant or body splash, and head back to her cubical. WTF?

I also hate when woman take a shower, get out with sweaty matted hair to their heads and beat red faces, quickly dress, and then skip out the door never minding to check themselves in the mirror. Um, hello! Don’t you care what you look like at work? Maybe not I guess. But geez, have a little pride in your appearance, that’s all I ask! Tousle your hair at least. Apply some lip gloss or maybe a little blush!

What I wouldn't give to have a body like this...

The big gym conjures up its own set of queries for me as well. We have this nice, spacious locker room and it’s always packed with woman. Now, I get that a locker room is for changing, but I think some woman take it too far. They’re like total exhibitionists. And it’s never the ones you’d want to be exhibitionists. It’s never the Jessica Biels of the gym, freeballin’ it as they shake out their wet hair standing in front of the mirror. No, it’s always the Rosie O’Donnells of the gym! Come on ladies, this isn’t your bedroom. Do you really need to stand there stark naked for 10 minutes doing your hair and makeup? It’s not that hot in here. Girlz, please.

And then there’s the locker room hot tub. Well, it’s always the ladies with the National Geographic style unkempt “situations” that get in there and float around in the tub together. I can only imagine what else if floating around in that water. GA-ROSS!

I mean, does the weirdness ever end? It’s definitely a free for all at the gym. I’m sure I’m not the only one that has funny of weird tales to tell!

Please, share your stories so we can all have a laugh over it!

7 Comments on Things I see at the gym (that I don’t understand)

  1. It’s funny how you do tend to scope the people out – hoping you look a little better than the other chick working out next to you. Or you’re right about the shower. There are some women who walk around buck naked and I’m thinking – get a stinkin’ towel lady – no one wants to see your fat-a s!! Sorry I’ve been reading your stuff too long. haha.

    I usually just stay in my little dressing area with my back to the crowd and mind my business of getting dressed and getting outta there!! However there are some funny peeps at the gym. Your dad was the only “hot” guy I ever saw at the gym….wait there was that time Douggie B was there!! haha.
    .-= Cheryl´s last blog ..Don’t Make Your Pet Have To Take On An Armed Intruder! =-.

  2. Right on Courtney…I loved this article….
    My biggest pet peeve – the women with long hair who don’t use hair ties, headbands, rubberbands, etc…..Put your hair up (esp in Spinning class)!!! The woman with her hair down while she runs on the treadmill is typically also covered in make-up and somehow doesn’t sweat! It drives me nuts! I go to the gym to get my sweat on – none of this perfectly groomed and perfect shitzzzz.

  3. Oh, I totally know what you mean Maureen. That drives me nuts too! Just the other day I was riding my bike outside and this woman was jogging with her hair down and it made my cringe. I can’t stand any hair on my neck when I’m sweating! It just bugs me that it’s all about looking hot for some random guy that might think they’re cute mid-work out. Is a poneytail really going to make or break the situation?? Doubt it.

  4. This is exactly why I dont go to the gym anymore. Plus I hate the smell. I have my own treadmill, eliptical machine and weights at home. I figured this way I can stay on the machine as long as I want and use the weights to my hearts content and I can take a shower, get out and not be faced with that woman who likes to prance around naked. ( seems there is one in every gym, lol) . Courtney you crack me up!

  5. Oh I wish I had a home gym!! That would be so nice. No more naked ladies (that should not be naked)!!

  6. I must say that here in WI the gym is not much different. The women walk around naked and to top it off many of them will stand there in the nude and have long conversations with other women in the locker room. I just want to say “hello did you forget your clothes.” Now I have my own gym in our basement and enjoy my eliptical without having someone stand there waiting for me to get off!

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