My, how time is flying by. I can hardly believe it, but Annabelle is officially 3 months old today! When everyone says “enjoy this time now because it won’t last long” – they aren’t kidding! Little AB is getting bigger every day and her personality is really taking shape. She is SO sweet and I just want to eat her up with a spoon! I think she’s going to have a good little sense of humor because she loves to smile and she’s on the verge of true giggles any day now. Everyone always comments on how happy she seems because she’s very generous with that little smiley face of hers’! We’ve finally gotten into a good little groove where I know her likes and dislikes; what works and what doesn’t; and what just about every cry means. All of this just in time for me to go back to work in a few weeks… *sighs*
When I think about what life would be like without Annabelle, I just can’t. It would seem so empty to me now. I mean, what the heck was I doing with all that time I had before?! Oh ya, obsessing over Twilight and Robert Pattinson. Having a baby certainly puts things into perspective, and you realize what’s important. Suddenly, the things that were so important to me pre-baby just aren’t anymore.
But who knew SO MUCH would change in my life after having a baby? I’m still the same girl, right?
I’ve been thinking over the last few days how much my life has changed since having Annabelle and how much I personally have changed. Annnnd I would say it’s a lot. I mean, everything revolves around the baby’s sleep and eating schedule now. I live my life in 3 hour intervals. Eat, play, sleep – repeat. I have limited freedom. Going to the movies is a luxury now, not a weekly habit. Dinners at restaurants now include constantly watching the baby and doing everything we can to ensure she stays quiet in her stroller so we can eat without having to take turns holding her. If we have the opportunity to go out to eat by ourselves, Jeff and I end up talking about Annabelle and looking at pictures of her on our cell phones the entire time!
Where’s the old me?
In terms of how I’ve changed; I definitely don’t have the same confidence as I used to. I’m at a plateau with my weight loss because I really need to start eating a healthier diet, but I guess I’m sort of finding comfort in “comfort food” in the midst of all these life changes. Like, as a new mom you don’t get a lot of time to yourself to enjoy things like getting your nails done, shopping, or even just reading books. But I do have time to go through the drive-thru at McDonalds and get a cheeseburger and fries! Mmmm! But I know; it’s so bad for me.
With my post-baby body still not being anywhere near where it needs to be, I’m not even trying in the fashion department. I just don’t even care. I feel like people look right through me as I walk around in yoga pants and a ponytail pushing my stroller. I donned a bikini at the pool the other day and I should’ve been mortified by my body, but I didn’t even care. I figured; no one is looking at me anyway! It bothers me because I used to be SO into fashion and looking my best.
Other than my lack of confidence and fashionable wardrobe; I find that all the fun I used to have in feverishly following pop culture happenings – namely, all things Twilight – isn’t as exciting to me now. I don’t visit Twilight blogs anymore or buy all the magazines that feature a ‘Robsten’ story. I’m even not counting down the days for Breaking Dawn – it’ll get here when it gets here is my new attitude! I don’t even make time to blog like I used to. My pop culture blog (Pop Culture Junkie) has all but died and I have no pull to revive it. And I’m not even blogging on Life At Thirtysomething as much anymore! What’s happening to me?? Blogging has been a huge passion of mine for the last 2 ½ years! Does everything about my life have to change since having a baby? Is there any semblance of the old me?
I think I’ve fallen into the same trap that most mothers do where they make it all about their baby. Once Annabelle is squared away napping in her swing, I have just enough energy to get on Facebook and veg out in front of the TV. I know I need to set some goals for myself to change my diet, try harder in the fashion department, and make time to do the things I love, like blogging and reading. Hopefully going back to work is going to give me the structure to my day where I have time to read on the train, go to the gym on my lunch break, and blog when Annabelle goes to bed. And of course, it’ll force me to get some cute clothes and not phone it in with the yoga pants everyday!
My my my, babies can certainly turn your world upside down. But that being said; I wouldn’t trade my new life for my old one. I may not be as fashionable or as thin as I used to be; but I’m a good mom and my baby is happy and that’s more important to me anyway. Being skinny would just be icing on the scrumptious kissable baby cake, and I’ll get there! 🙂
Yes that sounds about what most new mommies feel like. That’s exactly how it was for me…when we had Shaun…it was all about him and about the time we got in the rhythem and rhyme of everything it was time to go back to work. I cried the whole day my first day back…and when I picked Shaun up the lady daycare person told me not to bring him back. She said he had to be held all day otherwise he cried. I knew right then I couldn’t go back to work full time. I went to my boss and ended up going to a parttime job which worked out so much better. Had the best of both worlds. When you came along, we ended up moving to Tulsa so I didn’t go back to work for some time.
I’m so glad you’re doing great and you will get your mojo back on your fashionista outlook and weight goals. Sit down and put your goals to paper and you’ll get it done.
Thanks for the encouragement, mom! Setting goals with milestones and dates will certainly help me to achieve them I think.