Now that Annabelle is 18 months and counting, I’m finally starting to get the itch to expand my brood. I know this because while I was in Hawaii last week enjoying an adult’s only vacay with my husband and brother/sister-in law, I totally had baby fever from seeing all the brand new babies rolling around in strollers. You’d think I’d be thanking my lucky stars I wasn’t carting a child around in palm tree paradise, but no, I was staring longingly at those tiny babes in bathing suits thinking that maybe I wanted one, too. P.S. Who in the world thinks about going to Hawaii when they’re like 4 weeks post-partum? I don’t mean this as a criticism, I actually think it’s genius. I wish that was where my head was at 4 weeks post-partum! You can bet I’m not going to forget this whole Hawaii vacation idea during my next maternity leave!! (Jeff, take note if you’re reading!)
I definitely would like my kids to be closer in age because that’s how it was with my brother. He was only 16 months older than me, and only one grade apart growing up. Though we were close, we def had a love/hate relaysh and spent a lot of time bickering. But being close in age, it was like having a built in friend while on vacation, someone to defend your honor in high school, and a drinking buddy in the adult years. It’s nice having a close sibling. I want that for Annie B. So really, if I want them to be relatively close in age and be able to go to school together, relate to each other, etc. – I better get on the stick. No pun intended.
When is the best time to be on vacation I MEAN maternity leave?
A while ago I was trying to plan my next pregnancy around the most ideal times to be on maternity leave. I had AB in July, so I had half the summer and fall off, which was great. However, it wasn’t all that great being a two-ton-tilly in 100 degree weather as a mama to be. So then I thought the perf time to get preggo would be August and then I’d pop baby out in May and have the whole summer off, but not actually sweat my lady balls off in the California mid-summer sun. Oh but wait, it would be great to have an October baby and then I’d have all the holiday months off, affording me a chance to spend tons of time with family back in Indiana over Thanksgiving and Christmas (or Hawaii). So that would mean getting pregs in January. Hmm… this window of time isn’t looking good.
So then I just decided to not try to plan the perfect time to have the baby, and just let nature take its course. No trying, no ovulation calendar, no stress. And then I start thinking about reasons to NOT get pregnant just yet… all selfish reasons, like my friend’s wedding. How fun does a girl’s reunion weekend sound with lots of wine? Amaze. But geez, it’s not until September! I’d also like to visit my brother in Nashville and get my Southern bar crawl on this spring – without child, preferably. And I’m kind of on this exercise/losing weight kick right now…do I want to get all skinny only to get all fat so soon? Like I said – all selfish reasons!
Basically, there is never going to be the perfect time to get pregnant. There’s always a reason to put it off, a better time to do it, etc. But at some point you just gotta bite the bullet and remove the goalie, know what I mean?
Ok ladies, tell me…do you know the perfect time to get pregnant and have baby #2? Is it easier to bring a little brother or sister into this world when your toddler is two and a half or three plus? Is spring, summer, or fall the better time to be on maternity leave (I’m not even entertaining the winter months)? Help a sistah out!
My sister and I are 22 months apart and it was great growing up having a live in best friend and someone to share clothes with but I can’t image having a baby and a 2 year old.
Ya, having a 2 year old and a newborn does sounds kinda scary, actually! Ugh, it’s not going to easy no matter what, I guess!
My babies are 6 years apart so I am on the extreme end of your 3 or plus catergory lol But I can offer my bit of advice to you. I can say it is not the norm for people to wait this long between childen because I hear the same reasons everytime 🙂
1. everyone always wants them to be close in age so they play and grow up together and
2. because they don’t want to feel like they are completely starting over
My answer to these questions is 1. my son who was 6 when my daughter was born could not have been more excited and more helping. He was amazing. He was old enough to understand so no temper tantrums when I was 8 months pregnant and couldn’t play cars/or sit outside allday to play. He understood the concept and was my biggest helper! He is and his sister was/are so close to each other and she adores him!
2. Starting over was refreshing to me. I wanted to enjoy my children not rush to add another one to the mix. I can honestly say my son had 6 amazing years of being a only child. And now it is even sweeter to have someone to share being a child with! It is wonderful to have him go to school in morning and I get the 1 on 1 time with my daugther and then at 3 when brothers home its heaven for her! So what I’m saying long story short don’t believe all the sterotypical reasons 😉 It will be sweet at any age! And don’t feel rushed to do it by a certain age. Love you and your blog!
Ahh…you’ve given me a different perspective, Krista! It does sound nice that your oldest understands that mommy is tired while pregnant, or busy nursing the baby – or whatever. I also think it’s great that your first had so much uninteruppted time with mama. That’s pretty cool. You’ve given me something to think about! Thanks, girl!
So I stumbled upon your blog when I was Pregnant with my second baby in 2011 and have been following you since. I was wondering when you would get the itch!! When my daughter turned a year old, I got baby fever – BAD! A couple months later, we started to seriously talk about another baby. Turned out – I was already pregnant. My daughter was 15 months old when I got pregnant with my son. There is definitely something to be said about having them a little farther apart in age just so they can know what is going on. My daughter had no idea why I was so sick and eventually why I couldn’t play with her(I was put on bed rest at 31 weeks). It would have been a little easier on all of us if she could have grasped the concept a bit more. BUT – I do love that they are close in age now that they are both a little older. It gets crazy and chaotic in my home, and some days all I want is 5 minutes of me time, but it is all worth it! So funny thing – my daughter was born 10/6/2009 and my son was born 10/7/11. They almost shared the same birthday! There really is no perfect time so you just jump in with both feet and enjoy! I will say that I enjoyed having the holidays off – I am in Arizona so it is a beautiful time of year!
Hi Christina! I’m getting so many different perspectives on this post! Having 2 kids under 2 sounds hard, but the hard part of them being young doesn’t last forever, so we can all deal, right? Last night Annabelle woke up screaming at midnight and we ended up having to bring her in bed with us, but she kept tossing and turning and crying because she was uncomfortable for 2 HOURS! I was thinking, omg, what would I do if I had a newborn right now?! I have girls in my mom’s group that are about to pop with baby #2 or already have baby #2, and I just don’t know how you balance the new baby and the toddler that is still sort of a baby in many ways. But I know it can be done. Ultimlately, it’s up to the man above when baby #2 comes along! I can’t plan the perfect timing because it’s just going to happen when it happens!
Hey Courtney! Last time I commented, I was pregnant with my son (first child) and eagerly looking through all of your pregnancy posts and of course your birth post since I was anxious about my own. Needless to say, it went just fine and he was born on 10/5. He’s now 4.5 months old – it’s just crazy how time flies. I feel like it was yesterday that I was just a few weeks pregnant and googling something like ”working out at the gym pregnant” and came upon your blog (that post about the gym – you are just hilarious).
Anyway life’s been crazy busy but I love to catch up on your blog to see what’s ahead for me since I’m kind of the first among my friends to have a baby. so thanks for the help!
So I’ve also been wondering about the perfect time for baby #2, not because I’m ready, but because the newborn stage was so difficult for me (he barely slept and always wanted to be held!) that I can’t imagine doing it again but with another child to care for this time!! LOL…it seems terrifying. I figure I have some time to really start thinking about it. Besides, things are getting easier with Daniel and I’m really starting to enjoy motherhood now that I’ve got the hang of it. I will add in my two cents about the best season to be pregnant. Since he was an Oct baby, I was biggest during the summer. NYC summers aren’t easy but I gotta say I feel it was the best timing mainly because I can’t imagine putting on pants while whaling it LOL. Like a friend of mine always says “summer is the best – draws and dress and you’re done!” Haha…but it’s so true. I wore a ton of maxi dresses – half of my dresses were non-maternity so I can wear them this summer too. Also, my maternity leave was through the first week of January so I spent all the holidays at home which was indeed awesome. If I’m able, I may try to do it the same way next time!
Anyway, continue to keep us updated – don’t be a stranger! 🙂
Sanchita
Hi Sanchita – Thanks for your great comment! Glad you’re starting to get the hang of this mommy thing, it takes a while. I was like you after having Annabelle, I wanted nothing to do with pregnancy for a looong time! It gets easier in a lot of ways and harder in others. I think the sweet spot was like 6 months because they’re sitting up and starting to eat solids, which can be fun. It got a little harder at 9 months when the crawling began, and then again at 12 when the walking independence began. But at 18 months it’s such a good age because they’re starting to talk and feed themselves. Anyway, I’m def thinking October would be a great time to have a baby, too. You’re preggo in summer months, but not 9-10 months preggo where you’re a giant monster sweating all over! I’ll keep this in mind for baby #2. 😉