One of the nice things about blogging my pregnancies is that I can look back on how I was feeling the last time I was at this stage in pregnancy and compare notes. Was I in good spirits, in pain, ready to get the baby out? So this past weekend I hit up the old blog archives and looked up my 31 week blog post to see how ole girl was feeling back then. And I was relieved to see that I was literally in the exact same spot emotionally. I was feeling a bit down then, too, and questioning how much of my emotional state was due to life stresses or just those wacky third trimester hormones I heard about. It was probably both, and I’m assuming it’s the same for me now, but I can’t help but fear this is a prelude to the baby blues once my little guy arrives. I seriously hope not!
I heard an interesting piece of advice recently that said you shouldn’t make any major life decisions when you’re pregnant because of your unpredictable emotions. I probably shouldn’t even mention that Kris Jenner said this on a recent episode of the Kardashians, but nonetheless, it struck a chord with me. I definitely made a MAJOR life change in our decision to move from California to Indiana and I’m not gonna lie; the transition has been pretty hard for me. Once I stopped working and became a stay at home mom I had this feeling like I was standing still and no longer moving forward. I didn’t have the career that made me feel important and like an independent woman, and so in a way, the idea of moving gave me a physical feeling of moving on with my life and having a fresh start. Fast forward several months and here we are in Indianapolis, with that fresh start I wanted.
The problem is; it doesn’t feel exactly as I had envisioned my “fresh start” would feel. I miss the familiarity of my old lifestyle, my old routine, friends, etc. I think stability, consistency, and familiarity just feels very safe when you’re pregnant, so that is something I’m struggling with now, the lack of familiarity as I draw so close to becoming a family of four. I’m probably the classic case of not realizing what I had until I let it all go. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great being closer to my family and some of my old college friends, but one thing I hadn’t considered is what it would be like moving to a new state and being a stay at home mom. I’ve always moved somewhere and started a new job and made coworker friends rather quickly. So being a SAHM in a new place has been very isolating. The thing that frustrates me is that it’s 100% up to me to get myself out there and join some moms groups and meet new people, but I feel like I’ve just been hanging around home and moping around. I don’t know what is holding me back from just starting my new life here. I’ve felt like a major Debbie Downer and this just isn’t me. It’s a helpless feeling to feel this way, too, because I’ve always been such a positive, outgoing person. I miss the old me!
I did recently join a local moms group and have my first meet up on Thursday night – a mom’s night out! I really, really hope this will be a great way to keep myself busy and to meet new people and start building a network here. Wish me luck that I make some new friends, preferably ones that have access to a pool.
Now that we’re approaching the two month mark of living in Indy I think it’s time to make the best of my situation and let my California life go. Jeff loves being back in Indy and Annabelle is as happy as a clam in her spacious new house and backyard, so I gotta get with the program. I know in time Indy will grow on me and this will soon feel like home, too. I think what it boils down to is that I just need a nice pool with a tiki bar and three hours of child care that I can go to a few days a week and read Us Weekly while sipping on a marg. In a nutshell, that would bring back all my California happiness. *Shrugs shoulders* The truth is out.
I think you’re just in the transition period. Everything you say makes perfect sense and eventually you’ll get used to your new life in Indiana and find the “California happiness” that you miss. Just think, in a couple of months, you won’t have any time to miss California because you’ll have your cute little baby boy and an energetic toddler to tend to!
I found out I was pregnant the day we closed on our house. I swear that morning sickness struck the day we moved in and I HATED the house and was positive we made a mistake. I associated the house with feeling like crap and wanted nothing more than to go back to the downtown condo we came from. All I saw were unpacked boxes and home projects that I wanted to complete but couldn’t because I had no energy. And I couldn’t even drink wine to ease the stress!
It has been 3 months and I’m getting used to the house and it feels like home now. I feel that “home” comfort when I walk in the door and know that we’ll be happy here. I’ll be quitting my job when the baby is born, though, so we’ll see what kinds of emotions that brings!
I love your blog! I drop everything when the e-mail pops up! You’re always so funny and happy! I’m sorry you’re feeling sad! I hope you start to feel better about Indiana soon and that you enjoy our girls night on Thursday!
Hi Jamie! I can totally identify with what you were saying about relating your new house to the way you were feeling in your first trimester and not liking the house because of it. I felt the same way when we moved here. I started to see our new house like a jail because I was stuck here all the time for different deliveries, the cable guy windows, the landscapers, painters, etc. I had to be here all the time waiting for these people and I just felt stuck. Now that’s all behind me and the house is really coming together nicely and it’s feeling more like home. Hopefully by my 3rd month it’ll feel like home to me like it did for you!
Glad you are enjoying the blog! I love hearing from readers, so keep the comments coming when you’ve got something to say! Take care!